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Fact, Mood Guess and Duty Guide

Describe what actually happened, clarify a genuine instruction question, and keep the agreed duty separate from a guess about another person's feelings.

15 minutes to prepare; review after the actual taskFree · Two-page fillable PDF

Companion to Do Your Duty Without Guessing Everyone's Mood.

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See a worked example

Example: A parent gives a brief reply while counting supplies. The child asks whether the storage instruction changed; the parent clarifies it and owns any sharp words, while the task remains separate from an unverified mood.

01Describe the event

Observable words and an assumed feeling are different kinds of information.

Actual words or behavior

Mood or motive guessed

What remains unknown

Concern that needs appropriate support

02Clarify the instruction

Ask the question that determines the next permissible duty.

Existing agreed task

Specific instruction question

Answer actually given

Adult conduct requiring repair

03Choose your responsibility

The child should not carry the job of managing every person's feelings.

Current permissible next step

Help needed for that step

Response outside the child's control

Boundary or proper support route

04Review the facts

Record the task and the actual change without scoring private emotions.

Task completion status

Instruction changed or confirmed

Interpretation still unverified

One clearer phrase for next time