Teaching Children What Family Information Is Private

Make private information concrete

A child may understand “do not tell strangers” and still announce a home address in a public game chat. Teach the information itself, not just a category of people. The Federal Trade Commission advises children not to post personal details such as a phone number or address and not to provide family personal or financial information in response to an unexpected message. Use that guidance to begin a specific household conversation.

Identify details that require a responsible adult’s decision: contact information, account access, money matters, health information, and someone else’s private story. Use examples that do not expose the actual data. Say “our street address” rather than writing it on a worksheet you might share. The goal is judgment about an audience and a purpose, not making a child frightened to speak about the family.

Source: Federal Trade Commission: Kids and Cell Phones

Teach three decisions before a detail is shared

Ask who is requesting the information, why they need it, and whether the child has adult permission to provide it. A familiar name or friendly message is not enough to settle those questions. An ordinary school form should go through the agreed adult process. A game chat asking where the family lives should not receive an address just because the other player has shared one.

Give the child a reply they can use without improvising: “I need to ask my parent before sharing that.” They can also stop responding and seek an adult. Practice with harmless pretend details. Do not test the lesson by sending a deceptive message to your child or exposing real passwords. Adults should manage account security and permissions themselves; a child’s worksheet is not a substitute for responsible technology settings.

Separate privacy from unsafe secrecy

Say clearly that the family privacy rule never forbids reporting fear, harm, threats, or inappropriate behavior. A child can always speak with a trusted adult about something that makes them feel unsafe. They do not need permission from the person causing concern. NCMEC’s KidSmartz guidance tells children to tell a trusted adult when someone makes them feel sad, scared, or confused. Keep that route open even when a child has broken another rule.

Explain this distinction with plain examples: a neighbor does not need to know an account password; a trusted adult does need to know when someone has threatened the child. Avoid commands such as “family business never leaves this house.” Those words can confuse discretion with protecting misconduct. Adults should model the same respect by asking before sharing a child’s embarrassing moment or another person’s private news.

Source: NCMEC KidSmartz: Going Out Checklist

Respond to a mistake with a repair plan

If information was shared, first find out what it was, where it appeared, and who can help address it. Take the appropriate adult steps through the service or organization involved. Do not ask the child to negotiate with an unknown requester. Review the decision that failed and practice a better response. Preserve access to help instead of making the child afraid that telling you about a mistake will only produce anger.

Proverbs 25:9 cautions against disclosing another person’s secret while addressing a dispute. It speaks to discretion in dealing with a neighbor, not to hiding abuse. Our editorial application is to treat other people’s information carefully while keeping necessary reporting open. Use the worksheet to classify a detail, identify the audience and permission, and choose a response. Record information categories, never private credentials or sensitive answers you would not want in a shared blank guide.

Source: Proverbs 25, King James Version